Stop Lurking: Solve this Challenging ED Recovery and Family Dilemma

Use Your Skills to Help With this ED Recovery Dilemma

In honor of National Brownie Day, I submit this dilemma: “I (she/her) am in recovery from an eating disorder (ED recovery), and have finally gotten to the point that I am eating a healthy diet and no longer purging or restricting. But my mom and aunt are constantly urging me to go on a diet because I’m a bit thick these days. I try to explain that I’m healthier than I’ve ever been, but they don’t get it. What can I do with the winter holidays coming up?”
-Healthier Than Ever-

Note: I have removed the form function from the website. It was only ever used by spammers. (here’s the video version)

a cornucopia of healthy food choices for folks in ED Recovery

General things to keep in mind when helping with dilemmas:

  • Validate first and last. When someone is asking for help, they can be very fragile and need a lot of reassurance. So even if you have to be very direct and possibly discouraging (reality testing) in the middle, start and end with something positive.
  • Look for practical things you have knowledge about. If you have experience with something they’re experiencing, share it, and if you know of some resources that might help, share them.
  • Don’t be afraid to be blunt if you see problems with the way they’re looking at the problem that are causing them to focus on the wrong thing. We want their ladder on the right wall.
  • If you’ve felt how they feel now, and you found a way through it, sharing that and being vulnerable about it can be a huge help.

Resources for ED recovery

If you are in recovery for an eating disorder, here are some ED recovery resources that could help:

NEDA (National Eating Disorders Association) Website and Hotline: Call or Text (800) 931-2237

70 Resources to Support Eating Disorder Recovery: Written for social workers, this site has a huge variety of free and low-cost sources of assistance for ED recovery.

Finally, we have the Eating Recovery Center’s resource list, which also includes mental health resources.

Where Can I Contribute to the Discussion?

You can reply to this dilemma about ED recovery here. Or, Jenni’s Space exists on Twitch, Facebook, TikTok, Twitter, YouTube, Discord, Tumblr, Instagram, and Patreon.

Please join in wherever you feel most comfortable. The same dilemma will get shared everywhere every Tuesday through Saturday. If you need an accommodation that at least one of the sites doesn’t provide, please drop me a comment and let me know. All links are available at

Jennifer Liles is the owner and webmistress for Jenni's Space and Responsive Mental Health Services LLC. She is dedicated to mental health and human rights for freaks, geeks, and queer folk. She uses the Jenni's Space label for places where she combines education about, advocacy for, and celebration of mental health and human rights. This information is primarily for neurodiverse people, people with mental health issues, people who are on the queer spectrum, disabled people, and Black and Indigenous and other people of color. There are also discussions for privileged people about privilege and how it intersects with human rights work.